I’ve been working really hard towards my fitness goals and I’m finally starting to see some serious progress. So much so that everyone keeps telling me how wonderful I’m doing! Too bad it almost always comes with a “but” after it.
- You’re looking really muscular, but don’t get too big.
- Great job sticking to your diet, but don’t you feel deprived because you can’t eat snacks?
- It’s really amazing that you’re sticking to your work out plan, but don’t you think it’s excessive?
Here’s how I’d like to respond:
I’m glad you think I’m doing so great and all, so why the off handed snarky comments? Even if this isn’t your intention, this type of halfway compliment is not helpful or nice. I hear similar things at work as well (i.e. You’re doing an awesome job, but we can’t promote you because you’re too young). Really, all this does is upset me (or whoever you’re saying it to) because it gives the impression that everything you’re doing isn’t good. Then, I feel like I have to justify my actions when I shouldn’t have to. I know this can’t be avoided at times, but a lot of times it definitely can.
So, here’s a simple request. Next time you want to give someone a compliment about their progress and actions, do it and stop there. Don’t add in anything else, especially things that are solely your opinion and are not motivating or helpful. Not only will it make the other person feel really good, but you’ll be happy knowing you just made someones day with a nice compliment. So just leave the if, ands, and buts out of the compliments.
Now, it’s your turn! Do these types of off-handed compliments bother you or do you just let them roll of your shoulder?